Son of a bitch...
**Takes a long chug from beer #1 on the night**
If a Twitter post could sum up the collective thoughts of a legion of angry Philly fans, the one from the title of this post more than fits the bill (courtesy of one of @meechone’s commenters.)
I really hate it when one of my more negative premonitions comes true, but alas Brad Lidge made my diatribe from ten days ago look effing Nostradamous-like.
HE’S DONE CHARLIE, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FIGURE IT OUT?!? It pisses me the hell off when a team sticks with an old warhorse too long just because of their past contributions (See: Moyer, Jamie.) And I hate having to write posts ripping teams for sticking with them because it makes me look like an asshole, when I only want the team to succeed.
**Just started downing beer #2, I apologize if my grammar/inner censor starts slipping**
I’d have to imagine every Phillie fan right now is praying Lidge is hurt because at least that would explain why he has sucked so royally since, well, April. At least it could give us an excuse to take him out back to end his suffering with a long overdue extended stay on the disabled list. At least it could make us feel better about that mammoth contract extension the Phils gave him this past offseason…that it wouldn’t be the equivilant of flushing $37.5 mil. down the crapper (or using it to re-sign Adam Eaton.) I truly hope for Lidge’s sake that these struggles are directly attributable to something out of his control. Part of me still loves the guy for his perfect ’08 campaign, and I say this as I look at the Lidge autographed playoff baseball sitting on the shelf above my bed.
But at the same time, part of me also knows that the Phillies will not repeat with a closer who can’t finish off the FUC**** PIRATES! To those of you who want to stick with him: stop living in the past and accept the reality that Brad Lidge is statistically one of the worst relievers in Major League Baseball this season. Anyone else outside of #54 would have been gone faster than you can say “Jose Mesa.” Any loyalty Charlie Manuel has shown Lidge up to this point needs to stop now. When anonymous douches (I still have no clue who that schmuck was who hit the walkoff) from a God forsaken organization like the Pirates are teeing off on your multi-million dollar ninth inning batting practice pitcher it’s time to act before it’s too late.
But who do the Phils turn to?
Billy Wagner?
**Shot of vodka, down the hatch…**
(Just kidding, he’s Boston’s problem now.)
Ryan Madson? The same guy who blew three saves within a two week period earlier this season? I’ll just pull the same act I do when religious nutjobs/little kids asking for money show up at my front door: thanks, but no thanks.
Pedro Martinez? Ehhhhh…maybe if I was drunk (getting there.)
Some joe-schmo from the minors? Maybe for bullpen depth, but little more.
J.C. Romero? Has he ever closed before?!?
That leaves one name that makes way too much sense: the wife-beater/beatee himself Brett Myers.
**This shot is to Brett’s wife, for having the balls to sock her hubby in the face then cover it up with the media…allegedly**
Myers embraced the closer’s role back in 2007, going 5-5 with a 2.87 ERA, 21/24 in save opps, and striking out 64 batters in 53.1 innings. Not bad at all, and a hell of a lot better than anything Lidge is doing. Obviously we aren’t sure how he’ll be coming off his surgery, but at this point I’m more than willing to take my chances.
**This shot is to David Eckstein, that overrated little bastard, for helping the Padres beat the Braves in extras to help preserve the Phils’ division lead.**
The time to act has come for the Phillies…they can’t afford to let Lidge keep blowing late season saves like this. As for me, I’m off to my best friend’s girlfriend’s best friend’s 21st birthday party. Nothing like a little alcohol to help you forget a night you care not to remember. I’m pretty sure alcoholics say the same thing, and I’m absolutely sure Brad Lidge feels the same way right about now.
**Note to the children: alcohol is only good in moderation because as you will inevitably learn one day the hangover is almost never worth it.**
