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All they want for Christmas…

Posted by David Foley On December - 1 - 2009

Now that Thanksgiving has come and gone, we can officially begin that glorious countdown until Christmas (or Hanukkah for those so inclined.)

If you are anything like me you have probably started to scope out some presents you might ask for from loved ones, and while that’s not the most important thing about this time of year (haha…riiiiight) it’s still fun to share Holiday cheer with others. With this thought in mind, I decided to put together a wishlist for some high-profile Philly athletes with some things they may be asking for. If I miss anyone make sure you post it in the comments section!

**NOTE** There will be NO “throwing snowballs at Santa” jokes in this article! Well, besides that one!

Andy Reid“Coaching Football for Dummies.”

Optional side-gift: a tote bag so he can carry the book around on the field with him.

Ray Emery – Boxing gloves.

Perhaps the most useful gift on this list. Anything to help Ray vent his frustrations off the ice (and away from his teammates/coaches) is more than worthwhile in my mind. I already got a pair for Brett Myers a while back, but since he’s no longer in town the gift goes to Ray.

Daniel Carcillo – Two front teeth and a new set of hands.

I know the chicks probably dig the colossal gap but that has to get old after a while, right? Pretty hard to be an NHL player with stone hands too, so we’ll take care of all these issues with one fell swoop.

Cole Hamels“The Courage to Win” by Lisa Lane Brown, M.A.

The following is an excerpt from the website for this book I randomly found online. You tell me if it will work for Princess Cole:

“Have you ever started out confident, aggressive, and with the
right game plan only to encounter problem after problem such
as a bad start, an opponent who is ‘on fire’, poor conditions,
an unsupportive coach, or a teammate who can’t get it together?
Pretty soon, despite your initial confidence, you got that sinking
feeling in your stomach that today just wasn’t your day?

Have you ever under-performed…whether it was due to fatigue,
a surprising opponent, or simply a sub-par effort on you part…
and then found yourself struggling to re-gain your motivation
and confidence before your next event?”

It’s as if she’s reading your mind Cole!

John Stevens – A new job.

No explanation necessary.

Michael Vick - A new team.

Again, no explanation necessary.

The Wachovia Center during a typical Sixer game.

The Wachovia Center during a typical Sixer game.

The Sixers - Fans. Any fans.

It’s sad that a team with this much history can barely outdraw the Memphis Grizzlies. Yeah I know the NBA blows, but still, don’t you want to watch Elton Brand limp up and down the court for 35 minutes a night?!? What’s not appealing about that? Speaking of the old man…

Elton BrandA new walker.

A low blow, but when you get paid millions to be a franchise guy and end up coming off the bench and averaging 12-6 a night you have to see this coming.

Sean McDermott – a healthy linebacker.

First it was Stewart Bradley, then Omar Gaither, then Chris Gocong, then Akeem Jordan, and now Jeremiah Trotter is a bit gimpy. This is getting a bit ridiculous is it not?

Pedro Feliz - A new hitting machine.

If the man could swing a bat it may help him with his new team next season, whether that’s the Phils or some other franchise dumb enough to pay him.

Eric Bruntlett – A new fishing pole.

Anything to keep Beardo away from baseball and more importantly the Phillies. Actually scratch that: if I could afford it I’d PAY him to play for the Mets. His complete lack of skills would make him a perfect fit in that lineup.

Charlie ManuelA bottle of expensive wine.

Because some things just keep getting better with age.

Donovan McNabbRodney Dangerfield CD, “No Respect”

I wasn’t about to forget about our franchise QB!

I tell you, with these Philly fans I don’t get no respect! Coach Reid once tried to trade me to the Raiders for a roast beef sandwich but crazy Al Davis thought it was too big a price to pay. And this is the same guy who gave up a second rounder for Deangelo Hall!

DeSean Jackson – A dictionary.

Have you seen the guy’s Twitter page?!?

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