I'm starting a new fad, "lolGMs"
If it wasn’t a Friday this would easily fall into the category of Wednesday’s Worst. Via the Broad Street Bull:
“In the meantime, teams are circling around GM Paul Holmgren and trying to get a steal. According to the Delco Times, Tampa Bay offered mediocre goalie Mike Smith for Giroux or van Riemsdyk, two players whom the Flyers feel will be future stars.
Thanks, but no thanks, the Flyers said. (We doubt if Holmgren kept a straight face.)”
Granted this could be pure BS, but acting on the assumption that it’s real…REALLY BRIAN LAWTON?!? Mike effing Smith (the bum with a 3.05 GAA, a sterling .901 save percentage, and Lindros-esq concussion issues) for one of the Flyers best young players?!? That loser makes Roman Cechmanek look like God’s gift to goaltending! The absolute stupidity of that offer astounds me…no joke, I literally had to re-read that part of the article five times just to comprehend the utter ridiculousness of it all.
In honor of that stupid ass Brian Lawton, I’ve put together a few other deals he may want to consider…
Daniel Carcillo for Vinny Lecavalier
Clearly Tampa is in need of a fighter (I’m not sure this is true, but work with me here). Danny Carcillo takes a ton of undisciplined penalties, has the worst case of stone hands you’ll ever see, and doesn’t belong in the NHL much less a 40 and older beer league wins lots of fights! HECK YEAH! Granted all an opponent would have to do to avoid a shot from Carcillo would be to hide in his own team’s goal.
But yeah…that bastard sure can fight! So how ’bout we send him to Tampa, you cover Vincent’s salary for the rest of the season, and we call it a deal?
Eric the Midget for Martin St. Louis
We could sign Eric for dirt cheap, and he and Martin have more in common than you might think; aside from height of course! Because that would be far too obvious a joke, and I like to think we are above that sort of humor here.
Randy Jones for Victor Hedman
Granted Randy Jones isn’t a Flyer anymore, but if we were to re-aquire him from the Kings (box of tasty cakes should do the trick, besides Hextall owes me one) surely you would want him instead of Hedman. I mean I know the guy is supposedly a good young defenseman that you took with the second pick in last year’s draft, but Jones has two more points this season! So….yeah!
Jeff Carter for your first-born, and two future first round picks
Jeff Carter is a heartless, spineless, gutless *I could keep going but I won’t* bum who drifts around the ice as if he were lost in the Canadian wilderness high on just about ever illegal narcotic known to man…and he MAY be an alcoholic. We’re not sure of that one yet. is a 46-goal scorer! Yeah! He’s really good, so obviously the price in this deal would be just a tad bit higher.
While Lawton is mulling those awesome trade offers over, there was one interesting tidbit in that same Broad Street Bull post that sounds significantly more appealing:
“Maybe Holmgren can turn the talks toward 22-year-old Anaheim right winger Bobby Ryan, the pride of Cherry Hill. Would you deal the soon-to-be-25-year-old Carter for Ryan and, say, a No. 1 pick?…
The Flyers would gain more than $3 million in cap space _ paving the way for another trade involving a veteran scorer at wing _ and they could put Briere and Giroux as the second- and third-line centers.
Though it would be a tight fit, Anaheim has enough cap space to add Carter.”
I highly doubt the Ducks would move Ryan for Carter straight up, but if they would that’s a deal I’d do in a heartbeat. Bobby Ryan is a total stud and a pure goal scorer, something the Flyers deserately need right now regardless of my thoughts on Jeff Carter (read the above trade proposal again.)
Finally, quick shout out to Amanda Harris over at JoeBoltsFan. I ended up finding one of her articles while googling “Tampa Bay Lightning GM” (yeah, you now know how I do 95% of my research for my posts here) and was enamored with her writing style and knowledge of the game of hockey. Plus, anyone who can write consistently about a team like the Lightning definitely earns my respect and admiration…not that the Flyers are anything to brag about right now.
In all seriousness though I learned quite a bit about the Lightning by reading her work, and she came up with an “Ass-out-of-u-and-me Factor” for grading potential trades! Does that not sound like something I’d do?!? Plus she isn’t afraid to lay into NHL referees, crappy goalies (like Mike Smith), and even crappier GMs (if you don’t know who I’m talking about by now you have a serious problem.) Needless to say, I’m a fan.
