ESPN is reporting that Terrell Owens signed a one-year, 6.5 million deal with the Bills.
T.O. couldn’t co-exist with Jeff Garcia, Donovan McNabb, or Tony Romo. What makes the Bills think he’ll work well with Trent Edwards?!? This should be fun to watch.
When I was a Wednesday sports anchor at Annenberg TV News at USC, I had a weekly segment called “Wednesday’s Worst” where I would pick the biggest moron/worst play of the week and mock them/it mercilessly for 45 seconds to a minute. Good times! Now I’ve decided to bring it back here at Phinally Philly, except in print fashion.
I am proud to recognize the inaugural Wednesday’s Worst…Dan Snyder…Owner and Tyrant of the Washington Redskins!!
Danny boy supposedly wants to give this guy $100 million, or roughly $15-16 mil per year to play for the Skins. Hell, why not invest a huge chunk of your cap space in one defensive tackle with anger and motivation issues! HOW CAN THIS POSSIBLY GO WRONG?!?
Phinally Philly has actually managed to obtain an exclusive transcript from one of Mr. Snyder’s recent conversations with his receptionist (well not really, but work with me here.) Maybe this will grant us some insight into his decision-making process? Enjoy!
Redskins Main Office
Earlier today…
Dan Snyder: EZZZRAAAA?!? Ezra where the hell did you go?!?
Mr. Snyder’s Secretary (Ezra): Standing right next to you sir. You don’t need to yell.
Dan: Oh! Goddamnit Ezra you scared the shit outta me!
Ezra: Sorry sir.
Dan: Did you submit the offer to Albert Haynesworth’s agent yet?
Ezra: No sir, you never gave me a dollar amount for the deal.
Dan: Dammit Ezra! Go wax my Learjet or something…I’ll need to confer with my adviser on this…
Ezra: Wait Dan, is that a…
Dan: Silence wench!!! Only refer to me as “sir” or “my lord”! You know better!
Ezra: Sorry sir.
Dan: *Falls to one knee* Oh wise and mighty adviser, should I offer Albert Haynesworth 100 million dollars?
Dan: *Looking puzzled* Hmmm, must be broken. $100 million dollars Ezra, send it in.
Ezra: Yessir.
Dan: Oh…Ezra did you send in my offer for Brandon Lloyd as well?
Ezra: Wait, that lazy sack of shit that we wasted two draft picks and $10 million on?!?
Dan: Yeah, that guy.
Ezra: Ummm, I’d probably consult your “adviser” on that one too sir.
Dan: Grrrrr fine! *Picks up the magic 8-ball* Oh wise and mighty adviser, should I sign Brandon Lloyd?
Dan: GAAAHHH this piece of shit is BROKEN!!! Ezra send the offer NOW!!!!
Ezra: For how much sir?
Dan: I don’t CARE just sign the dumbshit!
Ezra: Ok…oh and Mr. Snyder…
Dan: WHAT?!?
Ezra: What about the trade offer for Terrell Owens?
Dan: Trade offer? For Terrell Owens?
Ezra: Yessir…
Dan: Do I look fucking crazy to you?!?
My name is Kieran Kelly. I’m currently a senior at Drexel University. I really only have one obsession: The Philadelphia Phillies.
That being said, I’m going to try writing about them on here. This will really be the first time that I’m trying something like this, so bear with me if I make a few mistakes here and there.
I am a season ticket holder for the Phillies this year, so there will be a fair share of first hand accounts of the games at the Bank.
Just thought I’d put together a little intro to get things started. I hope to share some good things this season.
You can follow me on Twitter @kierankelly. Twitter will usually be a little more updated than here, but not everything there will be Phillies related, so be warned.
-KK
Think Nate Robinson’s dunks were impressive last night? Meet Connor Oberst of Colombia River High School. He’s about Nate’s size, yet pulls off way better moves in a high school dunk contest.
We get it: Nate Robinson is short…doesn’t mean he should win every dunk competition with average dunks most NBA players could pull off. Sure the dunk over Dwight Howard was pretty cool, but that was about all he had going for him. Had Howard actually done something with his second dunk he would have won easily.
The best part of the night might have been Lebron announcing he’ll participate in the dunk contest next year. Hopefully he’ll be able to talk some of this colleagues (Kobe?!?) into joining him. Now THAT would be fun to watch!
Nate Robinson Would Lose in a High School Dunk Contest – Deadspin
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