5 ways to make Madden 2011 more realistic

David Foley — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:04:33 +0000

Madden NFL 2010 is being lauded as the best game in the series’ history, but there is still a lot of work for EA to do if they truly want to make this the most realistic football game ever. That, ladies and gentlemen, is where I come in. Here are five additions that could push Madden 2011 over the top, in no particular order…you can thank me later EA.

1.) The “Manning Face.”

No Giants loss is complete without the amazingly sulky, befuddled awesomeness that is the “Manning Face.” It even has it’s own website for crying out loud! Any time Eli (or to a lesser extent Peyton) throws three or more INTs in a Madden game we should be treated to several sideline shots of the Manning Face in all it’s glory. Between play shots of Archie watching disappointedly in the crowd would be an optional, but fitting addition as well.

2.) Appropriate “Brett Favre Lingo”

Let’s face it, if EA really wants Madden to be true to real life they’ll need to record some special commentary for any game Brett Favre plays in. Suggested phrases should include but not be limited to: “He’s just having fun out there!” “What a throw by the old gunslinger!” “That’s a vintage Brett Favre moment right there!” and of course after every Favre INT, “That was clearly the receiver’s fault!” The game should also be programmed so that any time a team with Favre as the starter makes it to a Conference Championship game he self-destructs, throws five INTs, and single-handedly loses the game.

3.) More realistic injuries and suspensions

Injuries play such a huge role in the modern day NFL, and they really aren’t done justice in Madden 2010. Particularly injury-prone players should get hurt more often, and the appropriate “probable, questionable, doubtful, etc.” terms should be introduced for the injury report. That way Brian Westbrook can be listed as “questionable” every week just like real life!

A “discipline” rating should also be added for each player and fines/suspensions should be randomly doled out for bad behavior/positive drug tests/crapping in sleeping women’s closets.

4.) Long snapper and holder minigame

Extra points and field goals are an afterthought in Madden each year, but that is about to change. Now the player gets to control the long snapper by flicking the analog stick to replicate hiking the ball, and then control the holder to get the ball set for the kicker. Adding to the realism, if you decide to create a long snapper in Superstar mode you spend a vast majority of your time standing around on the sidelines, and everytime you screw up you get cut the next day.

For a funny result try getting a snap down with Tony Romo as your holder!

5.) Custom TD celebrations

The FIFA series has the right idea by letting you control a player after he scores a goal and do custom celebrations using the left and right analog sticks. This needs to be taken the the next level in Madden: I’m talking fully customized end zone celebrations. Whip out that Sharpie to autograph the ball for a lucky fan! Pull off the Lambeau leap as Chad Ochocinco! Toss the ball away before actually crossing the goalline to the utter dismay of your team’s fans and your fantasy owners!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIWWrdDNBRU

Go ahead, share this post:

An Ode to J-Roll, and the Philly Top Phive

David Foley — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 06:31:37 +0000

If J-Roll keeps flirting with the Mendoza Line we might start mistaking him for Kevin Elster.

Jimmy Rollins doesn’t play well until September rolls around…I get it. That’s fine, and I don’t doubt he’ll turn his season around at some point like he did back in ’08. At the same time I think we need to take a minute to marvel at how bad he has been so far this season.

As if the .217 batting average and the .261 OBP weren’t bad enough, J-Roll is hitting just .171 with runners in scoring position and 2 outs. Even his stolen base numbers are taking a hit: after going 47/50 last year he is just 10/15 this season. Why Charlie keeps marching Jimmy out in the leadoff spot is beyond me, but obviously he is hoping that his faith in J-Roll is rewarded by a quick (read: pre-September) turnaround.

Despite Rollins’ struggles he was still the leading vote-getter among NL shortstops for the upcoming All-Star Game until he was recently surpassed by Hanley Ramirez. I’m not quite sure how 1,494,466 of you out there could be stoned off your asses enough to vote Jimmy in over Hanley and his .358 average, but I guess I’m just taking this All-Star business too seriously. After all, despite what Bud Selig may want you to think it IS just a stupid exhibition game.

Still even if Jimmy manages to beat out Hanley for the starting gig (highly unlikely), he’d be better off doing the honorable thing and bowing out of the game enitrely. Last I checked the All-Star game was for players who, you know, ACTUALLY DESERVE TO BE THERE! Take the extra time and lock yourself in the batting cages for a few days for God sakes Jimmy!

With that I’d like to introduce a new addition to Phinally Philly: the Philly Top Phive! A not-so-subtle rip-off of Letterman’s Top 10! Everyone else was doing it so “WHY CAN’T US?!?”

**Drumroll** THE TOP PHIVE THINGS I’D RATHER BE DOING THAN WATCHING A JIMMY ROLLINS AT-BAT:

5. Give Charlie Manuel a foot massage.

4. Guys night out with Cindy Crosby consisting of fingernail painting, snack foods, and Gilmore Girl episodes.

3. Spend a night at the Myers household (better bring the boxing gloves…whaaaat? Too soon?)

2. Watch highlights from last season’s NFC Championship Game repeatedly while bound, gagged, and hanging upside down in Gary Busey’s bedroom.

And the #1 thing I’d rather do than watch J-Roll bat…

Watch Chan Ho Park pitch.

Thank you! Thank you! Hold the applause, we’ll be here all night!!!

Go ahead, share this post:

Phinally Philly» Philly Top Phive Archives – Phinally Philly – Sports analysis and newspheed.

5 ways to make Madden 2011 more realistic

You might like these related articles:

An Ode to J-Roll, and the Philly Top Phive

You might like these related articles: