This week’s Wednesday’s Worst isn’t a loud-mouth player, a homerific announcer, or a stupid fan…no it is an actual RUMOR. I never specified that this column had to be about a living being did I?
For what must be the 200th time this offseason, there is a new rumor about the Eagles potentially going after an wide receiver. This time the subject is perennially-disgruntled Bengals wideout Chad Ocho Cinco.
The source of the speculation is ESPN’s Michael Smith, who said the following on NFL Live yesterday:
I am hearing there is interest in Chad Johnson. Now there’s been some back and forth as to whether or not he is officially on the market. I think everybody in Cincinnati has signed off on moving Chad Johnson except for owner Mike Brown. The Eagles could be in the picture. They have two first-round picks. They need a receiver.
Personally I think this is all a load of crap. I placed the emphasis on “could” in that quote because that makes it painfully obvious that Smith is throwing the Eagles name out there purely based off of their supposed interest in other receivers this offseason. I can’t imagine they’d ever trade for Chad, much less give up anything near a first round pick for a player who is so obviously on the decline.
This just in: Chad Ocho Cinco isn’t worth the headache anymore. When he was in his prime he was one of the best in the game, but that was years ago. Now Chad is coming off a dismal season (53 catches, only 4 touchdowns, and a James Trash-esq 10.2 yards per catch) and he is entering the dreaded thirties, when players start to fall apart physically in a lot of cases.
Does Ocho Cinco (God I hate referring to him as that) have anything left? Probably, but not enough to warrant giving up anything substantial for him. Think about it this way: right around the time Chad dumped his old last name for “Ocho Cinco” was the point where he stopped being a commodity and started being a nuisance. In the past he could back up his big mouth with big games on the field, but now he’s just another obnoxious has-been with a Pro Bowl-sized ego. He is quickly becoming the Chevy Chase of the NFL. People will only put up with your crap as long as you are popular and productive…as soon as your fame goes so does your job opportunities.
If I could get him for a 4th round pick or later I’d consider it, but even then you’d have to pay his salary and hope he doesn’t break down and tear apart your lockeroom in the process. The Bengals just lost TJ Houshmanzadeh, yet they’re still willing to let Ocho Cinco go? That’s not a good sign folks. If I were the Birds I wouldn’t touch Ocho Cinco with a 50 foot pole. If you want a receiver who will make the team better give up a bit more for a Boldin or an Edwards…don’t waste your time on a stale act. Besides, we all know how the “Chevy Chase Show” turned out, don’t we?
ESPN’s coverage of the NHL
We are heading into the crucial final days of the NHL season and there are several thrilling playoff chases, yet Sportscenter is spending a bulk of their time on WOMEN’S COLLEGE BASKETBALL?!? I was watching Sportscenter this morning and I expected to see at least some hockey analysis/highlights in the first 30 minutes, and instead all I got was NFL and NBA Draft coverage, some Tiger Woods talk, and highlights from the Women’s NCAA Title game along with an interview with the winning coach.
ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME?!? Most nights you are lucky to see a hockey game covered by the Worldwide Leader. And you know when Jack Edwards, of all people, is calling you out you have a big problem.
Memo to ESPN: VERY FEW PEOPLE GIVE HALF A CRAP ABOUT WOMEN’S FREAKIN’ BASKETBALL! As a matter of fact I’ll take this one step further…if I were to go to hell (still up in the air at this point) there would probably be 1,000,000 TVs all tuned in to women’s basketball 24/7. That would be an effective eternity of torture for me. Here is a list of things I would rather watch than women’s basketball: a Gilmore Girls marathon, a Golden Girls marathon, paint dry, and of course the Eagles/Bengals tie from last season.
Curious to know what you missed for the countless numbers of you who DIDN’T watch the women’s Title Game last night? Here is an abreviated play-by-play from the first few minutes when it was still actually competitive:
19:55 – UCONN missed 2-point jumper. 19:41 – UL missed 2-point jumper. 19:19 – UL missed 2-point jumper. 19:09 – UL three. 18:55 – UCONN missed 3-point jumper. 18:50 – UCONNputback 2. 18:32 – UL missed 2-point jumper. 18:20 – UCONN missed 3-point jumper. 18:16 – UCONN missed 2-point jumper.
Wow…if I wanted to to see a bunch of missed jumpers I’d go to a local park and watch some 40-year olds play a pickup game. And ESPN chooses to give THIS extensive coverage over a sport that is 1,000 times more exciting, has infinitely more fans, and is entering a thrilling end of the regular season. You all make me sick.